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Author Topic : Love & Relationships

Mira

Posts : 22
Forum Diva 6/2/2006 : 9/6/2010 10:12:55 AM
happy :) What would you say is going on ?

If a girl was dating a guy for a long time ( long time relationship ) and things were going smooth for a while, then of all the sudden they break up in a really bad way and decide to stop talking to each other.
The girl is obviously totally destroyed because he was her "first"...love, but is trying to accept the fact that they're not together anymore.
SHE SUCCEEDS.
Two weeks later, her ex boyfriend ( the guy who she was dating ) decides to message her and ask her to call him because he missed talking to her.
Because the girl is still not over him completely ( DOH, its only been two weeks ) she calls him up and they talk. He's being extra nice to her, tells her that he missed her and would like to meet up "as friends", so she agrees.
The following week they meet up, and the term of "being friends" disappears, because they end up kissing and everything seems like before.
They keep seeing each other for a while, and the guy asks the girl if she would like to "try it again", not to go out straight away, but "see" each other once in a while and see how things go. She agreed. It didn't work out and they went their seperate ways. However, they do remain friends.

After a year, the girl hooks up with another guy because she's pretty much over her ex and falls for this new guy. Things are going extremely well for her and she couldn't be happier with her new boyfriend.
BUT then there is the ex-boyfriend that NOW ( when she's taken ) is calling, messaging, and talking to her more than ever. She doesn't really care about it anymore, nor does she care about her ex but it's confusing her. He has done that before as well, every time she would start liking someone else he would get in between, and she would let the other guy go and stay committed to her ex even though there is nothing going on between them anymore.

Anyway, the girl is happy with her new boyfriend and their relationship is awesome, however she is curious of the fact of why her ex boyfriend is being so nice to her,keeps contacting her, and why he is always trying to find a way to meet up with her.
She thinks that he's trying to pull something again, maybe even make her break up with her boyfriend for whatever reason, but she knows he wont succeed at that because she loves her new man.

However, the question is " WHY IS HER EX DOING ALL THESE THINGS NOW ? A YEAR LATER" ??

Reminder : Her ex-boyfriend also keeps telling her that he doesn't want a relationship with ANYONE, but he wouldn't mind start seeing her again.

loca latina

Posts : 181
Forum Queen 6/6/2006 : 9/6/2010 9:14:36 PM
Aww Huni!!
What this sounds like is the guy wants his cake and eat it too..
He can see that his ex always goes back to him and he likes that but he also likes the fact that he is SINGLE and has no girl problems anymore. But when he needs a girl he goes back to the ex coz she makes it easy for him.
I think if the girl really LOVES the new guy,she should CUT out the EX for good and move on.... wink ;)
Chau Loca xxoo
PS:Hope that helps.

blitz

Posts : 616
Forum Overlord 6/7/2006 : 9/6/2010 2:45:33 AM
this post has been edited 1 time(s)

Simple answer Mira, he wants someone to `see` and now that his Ex has a new boyfriend he is a bit lost and doesn`t know what to do, so he sticks to what he knows and continues to chase and try and communicate to her. Especially, if they have been in a long term relationship and if he was in love with her. Having her as a partner was probably something that he had taken for granted and now with the fact that not only have they broken up, but she also has a new boyfriend, which leaves him with little hope of getting back with her.

In his eyes, he is probably thinkings he has two options, one being if he keeps buggering her he might be able to get her back at some point. The other option is to start looking elsewhere, which he obviously isn`t prepared to do yet.

Thats my thoughts anyhow...

blitz happy :)

Mira

Posts : 22
Forum Diva 6/11/2006 : 9/6/2010 5:14:57 AM
Hey people, thanks ! Yes it helped. Obviously all of you knew who the "girl" was lol...here's another story, and this time I'll make it a little more direct, the girl is ME.

So anyway, I've been with my man for 6 months now and he's gotta leave australia cos 1. He's been away from his country and home for nearly 5 years and hasn't seen his family, 2. He's not an australian resident, he's on student visa and it's going to expire soon so he's got to go even if he didn't want to.
Now the problem is, we havent been together for too long, yes 6 months is a long time but hey to some people its nothing. Anyway, we've spoken about things that couples speak about after 2 years of being in a relationship, we thought of getting married ( he however doesnt want to do it yet cos he says that it would look like hes using me for the papers and if he was australian citizen he would straight away), we've spoken about having kids together, moving in together ( we sort of are living together now, well I spend most of the time at his place ). ETC.

He has asked me if I would wait for him until he comes back (apparently he will come back to australia to study but in a years time or even two) I said yes and I promised him that I would wait even though I know somehow that 2 years is a long time and that we'll eventually both move on with time.
Everything is cool, but I need you guys to tell me if thats going to work out if i wait for him. I'm certain of myself and am 100% sure that I can wait for him and not fool around with anyone, but would a guy do the same thing or would he take the oppurtunity and screw around once im not close to him ? I know he loves me, and I love him too but cmon can a guy really go on for two years without being attracted to anyone ? Ps. He once said to me that he will come back for me and im not allowed to be with anyone, but he on the other hand is allowed because if he doesnt "do" a girl when hes back in his country his friends will see him as GAY.....nice eh ?

loca latina

Posts : 181
Forum Queen 6/15/2006 : 9/6/2010 11:14:32 PM
Hey Mira,

I think this must be very hard for you, but 2 yrs is a long time to wait for someone i am sure you both love each other, but you must move on over the 2yrs i am sure as a guy he could not wait for 2 yrs so why should you wait. If and when he does come back and things seem to be the same as they were then pick up where you left off...But NOWAY SHOULD YOU WAIT 2YRS!!! shocked 8O

PS: How do you know if he really is the love of your life while he is away you might find someone new, 6 months is not a long time at all???

Mira

Posts : 22
Forum Diva 6/26/2006 : 9/6/2010 4:52:13 AM
Hey Loca thanks for the tip, I actually did think about what you had to say and at some point you might be right. However, the thing is I have never felt the same as I feel for him so I think that he is or might be the one for me.
Yes, a lot of things can happen in 2 years, gosh so much drama has happened just a week ago and everything seemed to be getting out of control but we've managed to sort it out in a way ( somehow ).
I guess I also know, that in the 2 years we both could / will meet other people whom we probably find attractive and all, but I also believe that I wont settle down with anyone afterwards. I mean, I don't think that I would be able to look some other guy into the eyes and see "things" that I haven't 'seen' in my current boyfriend, I've been with him through everything in the past 6 months and I think that even if I do meet somebody new - I will always compare them to him. It would be like the same thing with another person happening ,get what I mean ?!

loca latina

Posts : 181
Forum Queen 6/26/2006 : 9/6/2010 11:55:23 PM
Hey Mira,

Yes i guess i can kind of see what you mean, I left my boyfriend for 3 months once and went out with someone else and i guess you always wonder about the love you had with them and if any other guy would be the same as him. My boyfriend at that time is now my Husband, so you know what just follow your heart girl and not your mind.Sometimes your mind can play tricks on you LOL.
Good luck i wish you and your guy the best!! wink ;)
Chau LL
xxoo

JNR_MAFIA

Posts : 3
Member 10/26/2006 : 9/6/2010 12:53:08 AM
i dont think you should wait for him

Mira

Posts : 22
Forum Diva 12/4/2006 : 9/6/2010 4:16:11 PM
Hey Guys,

Its been a while since I have been on the site, I forgotten my password and I kind of forgotten about the site to be honest but ALOT has happened.

Previous post about the boyfriend and the ex...
the ones who told me not to wait were totally right, I found out before his little ass got deported that he already had some chick back in his home country waiting for his sleazy ass to come back. So I dumped him.

Also with the ex, over it.

Moving on....
slowly.
Not that I dont love my ex anymore ( the cheater lol ) its just I think the memories are still playing a major part in my life and for some reason I dont want a relationship anymore with anyone.
I'm seeing someone, every now and then but we're more friends than anything...I think.

too early, to get hurt again fast, right ?

loca latina

Posts : 181
Forum Queen 12/19/2007 : 9/6/2010 12:10:43 AM
Hey Mira,

WOW see i told you so....

I am glad you moved on with your life. happy :)

Take care Loca.

Replies in this thread : 10

Forums Home > General Discussion > Love & Relationships
Replies in this thread : 10
Post Reply

Author	Topic : Love & Relationships
Mira Posts : 22 Forum Diva	6/2/2006 : 9/6/2010 10:12:55 AM What would you say is going on ? If a girl was dating a guy for a long time ( long time relationship ) and things were going smooth for a while, then of all the sudden they break up in a really bad way and decide to stop talking to each other. The girl is obviously totally destroyed because he was her "first"...love, but is trying to accept the fact that they're not together anymore. SHE SUCCEEDS. Two weeks later, her ex boyfriend ( the guy who she was dating ) decides to message her and ask her to call him because he missed talking to her. Because the girl is still not over him completely ( DOH, its only been two weeks ) she calls him up and they talk. He's being extra nice to her, tells her that he missed her and would like to meet up "as friends", so she agrees. The following week they meet up, and the term of "being friends" disappears, because they end up kissing and everything seems like before. They keep seeing each other for a while, and the guy asks the girl if she would like to "try it again", not to go out straight away, but "see" each other once in a while and see how things go. She agreed. It didn't work out and they went their seperate ways. However, they do remain friends. After a year, the girl hooks up with another guy because she's pretty much over her ex and falls for this new guy. Things are going extremely well for her and she couldn't be happier with her new boyfriend. BUT then there is the ex-boyfriend that NOW ( when she's taken ) is calling, messaging, and talking to her more than ever. She doesn't really care about it anymore, nor does she care about her ex but it's confusing her. He has done that before as well, every time she would start liking someone else he would get in between, and she would let the other guy go and stay committed to her ex even though there is nothing going on between them anymore. Anyway, the girl is happy with her new boyfriend and their relationship is awesome, however she is curious of the fact of why her ex boyfriend is being so nice to her,keeps contacting her, and why he is always trying to find a way to meet up with her. She thinks that he's trying to pull something again, maybe even make her break up with her boyfriend for whatever reason, but she knows he wont succeed at that because she loves her new man. However, the question is " WHY IS HER EX DOING ALL THESE THINGS NOW ? A YEAR LATER" ?? Reminder : Her ex-boyfriend also keeps telling her that he doesn't want a relationship with ANYONE, but he wouldn't mind start seeing her again.
loca latina Posts : 181 Forum Queen	6/6/2006 : 9/6/2010 9:14:36 PM Aww Huni!! What this sounds like is the guy wants his cake and eat it too.. He can see that his ex always goes back to him and he likes that but he also likes the fact that he is SINGLE and has no girl problems anymore. But when he needs a girl he goes back to the ex coz she makes it easy for him. I think if the girl really LOVES the new guy,she should CUT out the EX for good and move on.... Chau Loca xxoo PS:Hope that helps.
blitz Posts : 616 Forum Overlord	6/7/2006 : 9/6/2010 2:45:33 AM this post has been edited 1 time(s) Simple answer Mira, he wants someone to `see` and now that his Ex has a new boyfriend he is a bit lost and doesn`t know what to do, so he sticks to what he knows and continues to chase and try and communicate to her. Especially, if they have been in a long term relationship and if he was in love with her. Having her as a partner was probably something that he had taken for granted and now with the fact that not only have they broken up, but she also has a new boyfriend, which leaves him with little hope of getting back with her. In his eyes, he is probably thinkings he has two options, one being if he keeps buggering her he might be able to get her back at some point. The other option is to start looking elsewhere, which he obviously isn`t prepared to do yet. Thats my thoughts anyhow... blitz
Mira Posts : 22 Forum Diva	6/11/2006 : 9/6/2010 5:14:57 AM Hey people, thanks ! Yes it helped. Obviously all of you knew who the "girl" was lol...here's another story, and this time I'll make it a little more direct, the girl is ME. So anyway, I've been with my man for 6 months now and he's gotta leave australia cos 1. He's been away from his country and home for nearly 5 years and hasn't seen his family, 2. He's not an australian resident, he's on student visa and it's going to expire soon so he's got to go even if he didn't want to. Now the problem is, we havent been together for too long, yes 6 months is a long time but hey to some people its nothing. Anyway, we've spoken about things that couples speak about after 2 years of being in a relationship, we thought of getting married ( he however doesnt want to do it yet cos he says that it would look like hes using me for the papers and if he was australian citizen he would straight away), we've spoken about having kids together, moving in together ( we sort of are living together now, well I spend most of the time at his place ). ETC. He has asked me if I would wait for him until he comes back (apparently he will come back to australia to study but in a years time or even two) I said yes and I promised him that I would wait even though I know somehow that 2 years is a long time and that we'll eventually both move on with time. Everything is cool, but I need you guys to tell me if thats going to work out if i wait for him. I'm certain of myself and am 100% sure that I can wait for him and not fool around with anyone, but would a guy do the same thing or would he take the oppurtunity and screw around once im not close to him ? I know he loves me, and I love him too but cmon can a guy really go on for two years without being attracted to anyone ? Ps. He once said to me that he will come back for me and im not allowed to be with anyone, but he on the other hand is allowed because if he doesnt "do" a girl when hes back in his country his friends will see him as GAY.....nice eh ?
loca latina Posts : 181 Forum Queen	6/15/2006 : 9/6/2010 11:14:32 PM Hey Mira, I think this must be very hard for you, but 2 yrs is a long time to wait for someone i am sure you both love each other, but you must move on over the 2yrs i am sure as a guy he could not wait for 2 yrs so why should you wait. If and when he does come back and things seem to be the same as they were then pick up where you left off...But NOWAY SHOULD YOU WAIT 2YRS!!! PS: How do you know if he really is the love of your life while he is away you might find someone new, 6 months is not a long time at all???
Mira Posts : 22 Forum Diva	6/26/2006 : 9/6/2010 4:52:13 AM Hey Loca thanks for the tip, I actually did think about what you had to say and at some point you might be right. However, the thing is I have never felt the same as I feel for him so I think that he is or might be the one for me. Yes, a lot of things can happen in 2 years, gosh so much drama has happened just a week ago and everything seemed to be getting out of control but we've managed to sort it out in a way ( somehow ). I guess I also know, that in the 2 years we both could / will meet other people whom we probably find attractive and all, but I also believe that I wont settle down with anyone afterwards. I mean, I don't think that I would be able to look some other guy into the eyes and see "things" that I haven't 'seen' in my current boyfriend, I've been with him through everything in the past 6 months and I think that even if I do meet somebody new - I will always compare them to him. It would be like the same thing with another person happening ,get what I mean ?!
loca latina Posts : 181 Forum Queen	6/26/2006 : 9/6/2010 11:55:23 PM Hey Mira, Yes i guess i can kind of see what you mean, I left my boyfriend for 3 months once and went out with someone else and i guess you always wonder about the love you had with them and if any other guy would be the same as him. My boyfriend at that time is now my Husband, so you know what just follow your heart girl and not your mind.Sometimes your mind can play tricks on you LOL. Good luck i wish you and your guy the best!! Chau LL xxoo
JNR_MAFIA Posts : 3 Member	10/26/2006 : 9/6/2010 12:53:08 AM i dont think you should wait for him
Mira Posts : 22 Forum Diva	12/4/2006 : 9/6/2010 4:16:11 PM Hey Guys, Its been a while since I have been on the site, I forgotten my password and I kind of forgotten about the site to be honest but ALOT has happened. Previous post about the boyfriend and the ex... the ones who told me not to wait were totally right, I found out before his little ass got deported that he already had some chick back in his home country waiting for his sleazy ass to come back. So I dumped him. Also with the ex, over it. Moving on.... slowly. Not that I dont love my ex anymore ( the cheater lol ) its just I think the memories are still playing a major part in my life and for some reason I dont want a relationship anymore with anyone. I'm seeing someone, every now and then but we're more friends than anything...I think. too early, to get hurt again fast, right ?
loca latina Posts : 181 Forum Queen	12/19/2007 : 9/6/2010 12:10:43 AM Hey Mira, WOW see i told you so.... I am glad you moved on with your life. Take care Loca.